Fed Up? Or Filled Up?
While driving the 30 minute drive home after picking up my oldest 3 children from youth group tonight- two songs came on the radio that hit me like a ton of bricks over the head... The first was "Steal My Show" and the second was "Let Them See You" - both frequently played by our K-LOVE radio station, but after the mommy meltdown I'd just had from my kids not listening to me, put together with the weight of the news the Dr. had given us about our youngest that day- and I'd lost it.
"Steal my show" words say: 'Want you to steal my show- sit back and watch it go- if you've got something to say- go on and take it away'- the realization brought to me by the Holy Spirit from these words was that God wanted to live through MY show...MY LIFE. He wanted to be glorified and take over during those teachable moments when we were alone and didn't have the distraction of the world. He wanted me to speak to my kids- or just have a good, quiet time when there was peace and tranquility-----But instead Id blown my top.
The second song similarly screamed to me that in EVERYTHING we do- let others see Him. In our words, and by our actions- let everything we do reflect the light of Christ's love-in us, and through us. Had I shown my kids the love of Christ by having a Mommy-meltdown? I may of been showing them discipline- that I wasn't going to tolerate their behavior and giving them consequences for their behavior. But I didn't FEEL very Christ-like. I felt ugly. I felt like I'd failed them. I felt that their behavior was a direct reflection of me- and in some sense it is-so lets be honest.
Over the past few weeks, I have slipped further and further away from God. Everyone in the family had been sick, the baby was still sick-pressures of life had kept me from doing what I needed to be doing-I had ALLOWED the pressures of life to keep me from doing what I needed to be doing. I'd missed church this past weekend from being "exhausted", I'd been slacking on my daily devotions-maybe only doing TWO out of 14. I have a teaching and a testimony to write for an upcoming Encounter, they've not even been begun. It's been at least two weeks since I'd opened my actual Bible and read more then 3-5 verses that hadn't been on someone's status update on Facebook- and that's the other thing- my laptop had died maybe 3 times today...WAY too much time and attention on the internet (which I justified by the baby being clingy and me having to sit on the couch with him.)
But those songs struck me hard- and they NEEDED to strike me hard because I OWE it to my kids to be spiritually filled up at all times and not drained-to allow them to see Christ in ALL that I say and ALL that I do. My LORD DESERVES for me to be WILLING to come to Him daily on my knees and in the Word to fill myself back up with His understanding, wisdom, love and compassion so that I can be able to show this through love and actions to everyone I encounter. My husband DESERVES me to be spiritual fed and filled up so that I appreciate him daily- so that I can HELP him with the stresses of life- instead of ADDING TO THEM. My sister's in Christ that I minister to daily, DESERVE to have me spiritually full so I can advise them the way God wants them to be- instead of what sounds good off the top of my head based off my emotions at that current time. And that's what I've learned throughout this past year of my walk- is that if you're not walking in the Word- you're walking in emotion. If we aren't grounded- we can short circuit at any time.
It goes back to that old saying- "If you don't take care of you- how can you take care of anyone else?" The same is true in the spiritual way of life-We owe it to ourselves, to our family, to our friends and those we have yet to meet- to STAY spiritually full and on the right track with God-where He needs us to be at according to His will and purpose for our lives. The world we live in is FULL of hurting, lost souls. I am NOT one of the lost. I have FOUND my salvation through the Cross and by the precious blood of Christ- and it's time I learn to STAY there- in that place of peace. Life will happen. Things will get you down and busy if you ALLOW them to. "LOVE is the greatest of all these"- and what better way to show the Love of Christ then through maintaining an intimate relationship with our Creator so we are then able to show his love to others!
"Steal my show" words say: 'Want you to steal my show- sit back and watch it go- if you've got something to say- go on and take it away'- the realization brought to me by the Holy Spirit from these words was that God wanted to live through MY show...MY LIFE. He wanted to be glorified and take over during those teachable moments when we were alone and didn't have the distraction of the world. He wanted me to speak to my kids- or just have a good, quiet time when there was peace and tranquility-----But instead Id blown my top.
The second song similarly screamed to me that in EVERYTHING we do- let others see Him. In our words, and by our actions- let everything we do reflect the light of Christ's love-in us, and through us. Had I shown my kids the love of Christ by having a Mommy-meltdown? I may of been showing them discipline- that I wasn't going to tolerate their behavior and giving them consequences for their behavior. But I didn't FEEL very Christ-like. I felt ugly. I felt like I'd failed them. I felt that their behavior was a direct reflection of me- and in some sense it is-so lets be honest.
Over the past few weeks, I have slipped further and further away from God. Everyone in the family had been sick, the baby was still sick-pressures of life had kept me from doing what I needed to be doing-I had ALLOWED the pressures of life to keep me from doing what I needed to be doing. I'd missed church this past weekend from being "exhausted", I'd been slacking on my daily devotions-maybe only doing TWO out of 14. I have a teaching and a testimony to write for an upcoming Encounter, they've not even been begun. It's been at least two weeks since I'd opened my actual Bible and read more then 3-5 verses that hadn't been on someone's status update on Facebook- and that's the other thing- my laptop had died maybe 3 times today...WAY too much time and attention on the internet (which I justified by the baby being clingy and me having to sit on the couch with him.)
But those songs struck me hard- and they NEEDED to strike me hard because I OWE it to my kids to be spiritually filled up at all times and not drained-to allow them to see Christ in ALL that I say and ALL that I do. My LORD DESERVES for me to be WILLING to come to Him daily on my knees and in the Word to fill myself back up with His understanding, wisdom, love and compassion so that I can be able to show this through love and actions to everyone I encounter. My husband DESERVES me to be spiritual fed and filled up so that I appreciate him daily- so that I can HELP him with the stresses of life- instead of ADDING TO THEM. My sister's in Christ that I minister to daily, DESERVE to have me spiritually full so I can advise them the way God wants them to be- instead of what sounds good off the top of my head based off my emotions at that current time. And that's what I've learned throughout this past year of my walk- is that if you're not walking in the Word- you're walking in emotion. If we aren't grounded- we can short circuit at any time.
It goes back to that old saying- "If you don't take care of you- how can you take care of anyone else?" The same is true in the spiritual way of life-We owe it to ourselves, to our family, to our friends and those we have yet to meet- to STAY spiritually full and on the right track with God-where He needs us to be at according to His will and purpose for our lives. The world we live in is FULL of hurting, lost souls. I am NOT one of the lost. I have FOUND my salvation through the Cross and by the precious blood of Christ- and it's time I learn to STAY there- in that place of peace. Life will happen. Things will get you down and busy if you ALLOW them to. "LOVE is the greatest of all these"- and what better way to show the Love of Christ then through maintaining an intimate relationship with our Creator so we are then able to show his love to others!
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